130 – Illumination
Featuring True Tales of the Illuminati (truetalesteam.com)
in which you anticipate a sound, your fireplace gets an upgrade, Junior has a secret, candy is too delicious, and Clover Patch “wins” the Ruin-A-Life Drawing. Do Evil Better.
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What you are about to hear is technically a bad cover of the Sounds of Silence
Hello, and welcome to the Kakos Industries corporate shareholder announcements. At Kakos Industries we help our clients to Do Evil Better. As always, I am Corin Deeth III CEO. SHareholders, I must admit some regret about what transpired during the last broadcast. Certainly, stranger, grosser, much grosser things have happened, but this was some childishness that I engaged in directly. I’ve been covered in unfortunate secretions. I’ve been eaten and excreted at least once. There have been awful sounds to be sure. But last time, I made the awful sounds, and I want to apologize. I’m sorry. (pause) I know you’re waiting for me to do it. I know you’re sitting there preparing yourself to hear the sound again. It’s not going to happen, I promise. Not for a while. At least until I’ve forgotten about this whole situation. (pause) You’re going to be waiting the whole broadcast to hear it, aren’t you? You’re on edge already expecting it. You’re prepared for the sound to happen at any moment. It’s not coming. You can relax. I know you won’t, but you can if you want. Soundman has been instructed to cut off any recordings the moment he detects that wrong kind of sound.
Shareholders, it has been eight years now since I’ve taken over the helm here at Kakos Industries. Eight years since I became the CEO after my grandfather’s passing. There was a ton of preparation before that, of course, but I remember thinking it was something that would never come to pass. I expected my grandfather to be around forever. Life doesn’t quite work that way, though, does it? I think ordinarily I would spend some time waxing poetic about the struggles I’ve had and what I wish I could have done differently, but instead I want to focus on gratitude. Shareholders, you have been behind me for eight years. Certainly some of you are new and have not been a part of Kakos Industries for the full eight years. Others of you have been members of Kakos perhaps long before you ever realized. But no matter how long you’ve been here, you are here with me now, and I thank you for that. I look forward to many more years with you all, as I will be doing this job until the day that I die, at which point a number of things can happen, many of which suck.
Today’s broadcast is coming to you from a car stereo. It could be in your car, but it could also be set up wherever you normally catch your announcements. We did replace quite a few car stereos in cars. It’s nearly the same audio quality or perhaps slightly worse. At any rate, this is a collaboration between our Division of Boom and Yelani’s Used Autos. Do we know for sure that you all got identical radios? No. There’s probably a mixture of radios out there. But They are all car stereos, though. I am told that several of the car stereos were installed in fireplaces, and several more were installed in trees out by the porch. We just put those things wherever in preparation for these announcement. Yelani’s Used Autos is more of a junkyard, and we are told that we have helped Yelani to really amp up the misery. More rust, more debris, more questionable bumper stickers. It’s a mess. The Division of Boom, well, they make the sounds go boom. It’s a match made in Science Hell for sure. They tell me that the audio quality is thumpy, tinny, and overall passable. You’re welcome. It’s not unusual for us to have to cut some corners following the shareholders’ ball. It’s not that we are low on funds or anything like that. It’s simply that we can’t treat you so nicely all the time. This broadcast is exclusively for Kakos Industries shareholders, and if you aren’t a shareholder, but you are hearing this broadcast, you might feel a sudden urge to just drive and drive and drive and drive. If you become Evil right now, you may stop driving before it’s too late.
I have not received a recording from my grandfather in the last month. This is unusual because I had been receiving a ton of them. I’m wondering if maybe I hit some unknown metric of lightening up and that has made the messages less urgent. Or maybe the person who has been splicing the tapes together was sick or something. Just to be sure, I cross referenced the list of employees who have been sick with the employees who can manipulate audio. There’s too many to know for sure. I will be keeping an eye on them all the same.
The Shareholders’ Ball was incredible as always, although we did not make all of you attend like in previous years. We wanted to stick to an outdoor theme, so we gussied up the flower garden on the flower lawn, just past the hedge maze. We used various hormones and chemicals to ensure that nearly everything was blooming and beautiful, and we used special vacuums to remove virtually all of the pollen from the air, so in some senses it was the best of both worlds. There was a long path through the garden lined with beautiful flowers and trimmed hedges that led you to the location of the main event. Tall bushes provided a level of privacy all around the event, and helped to section off certain areas. When you arrived, we started with the early evening entertainment, provided by the Abject Quintet. They each played stringed musical instruments that have a vague resemblance to the violins, violas, cellos, and double basses that you are used to seeing in western music, but then each instrument is changed and distorted in some way. There is an element of the grotesque, whether it is the materials of the instrument or its shape, or perhaps the familiar reddish brown of its coloring. Individually, the instruments sound like the cries of tortured animals, or the creaking and groaning a ship about to sink, but when played together, the strangeneses of each instrument fill in gaps of the others and help to downplay their unpleasantness. And just like that the music would sway and oscillate between beautiful harmonies and jagged, uncomfortable solos. The way that they could play with texture was breathtaking. After the Abject Quintet finished their performance, we were all taken to an open area of the flower garden that had been made into a carnival of sorts. The Division of Thrill Ride Testing had presented a number of attractions and rides for our entertainment. We were told that all of the rides were not only tested already, but that they had been shown in studies to cut through the dopamine withdrawals so many are experiencing. There were rides that took riders far up into the air. There were rides that spun the riders. There was a rollercoaster that got faster and faster and faster as it whipped around the entire event. The rides provided significant, if not severe, thrills that really shook us loose from whatever funk we might have found ourselves in. I am not a huge fan of the thrill rides that just scare you, but I did ride the rollercoaster several times. Then, once many of us had emptied our stomachs of all of their contents, it was time for the feast. It is difficult to outdo ourselves year after year when it comes to the feast. Animals can only get so rare. Vegetables can only be so unethically harvested. This is where a certain degree of creativity serves us well. This year there was one meal option for everyone’s dietary habits. It was part animal and part plant, though not both in the same places. A hybrid combining different branches of the tree of life as seamlessly as possible. It was a horror to look at, kind of bulbous and ever so gently pulsating with breath. It had vascularity, but the fluid was ambiguous. It wasn’t the color of blood, at least not from what we could see. It had the appearance of some sort of carnivorous plant, although it was difficult to know exactly why it seemed that way. It had leaves and fur, and parts of it seemed like ripe stonefruit. I could detect a certain thrill that surged through the crowd as you wondered if you were just about to be asked to kill this creature and claw its flesh from its body. There’s a certain excitement when preparing for such an activity, especially when it is mandatory. The guilt has been put off on someone else, but all the same, you’re not quite sure how you’ll feel after you’ve done what must be done. You may be transformed. You may have nightmares, or at least telling, introspective dreams. Others may look at you differently if they ever know. But then, on cue, the creature passed all on its own. Our genetic engineers are getting pretty good at dialing in life span, and the creature simply died of old age. A few among you were perhaps still preparing themselves mentally and emotionally to tear into the creature with bare hands and maybe teeth, but we brought out a number of grill specialists with rolling grill stations offering a number of choices. There was the part of the creature that was all plant. There was a part that was mostly fruit. There were parts that were definitely animal in nature. There were places of the creature that blended our ideas of the branches of life so completely as to form a wholly new experience. There was no other food except this creature. We all dined to our fill. Then we slowly moved to the dance floor in the next section of hedge, the night sky filled with stars above us. It felt special. It made all of us feel like we mattered in that moment. And then, blood technicians surrounded us with high powered liquid canons, which began to spray the blood of the dead half-plant-half-beast on us. The blood was slightly sweet if it got into your mouth, but in a slightly artificial way. The beat dropped and the dancing began. It wasn’t long before what we could call the blood orgy began. I was told before things really got into full swing that Eddie usually snuck out before things got too heavy. And I can understand why. When you hear the term “blood orgy” you probably think of some frightening things. Maybe you’re the sort of person to find that arousing. Maybe you’re not. The imagination can definitely make things seem more extreme than they are. It’s easy to imagine a number of things only previously imaginable in pornography happening. And I don’t want to take that image from you. I definitely benefit from that image. The rumors surrounding parties I throw are incredible. Other Evil organizations simultaneously envy moments like these and use them as propaganda against us. The reality is a bit more tame. Certainly, there are those taking it to the next level. Most often, people are actively engaged with people they already know, or maybe someone whom they recently met but came with a great recommendation. Some people maintain decades long relationships with people they only spend time with during the shareholders’ balls, never acknowledging one another outside of the events so as not to violate a taboo. There is no wrong way to enjoy things, even if that means that you keep your clothes on and keep dancing. Or the people who started to play some sort of tabletop roleplaying game on the grass in the corner. They were naked. Where did they keep the dice. On second thought, maybe they were doing it wrong. But just those people. Kimmie seems to have made it her responsibility to comfortably broaden Eddie’s horizons, so they danced together throughout the event without engaging in anything more serious. I know that Eddie is not the only person to slip out early in these situations, and I know that others of you might feel some guilt about only engaging with your existing partners, like you’re not doing the blood orgy right. All of these options are fine. I’ve been known to take it easy during these events myself, if only because I’m afraid that the person trying to get my attention is actually part of some secret organization set up to maintain my mental health in an extremely patronizing way. You might be wondering how I handled the blood orgy this year, and you’re just going to have to keep wondering, I suppose. I can’t ruin all of the mystique. I will say that this year’s blood orgy was really frantic and kind of hasty. It was like you all needed this really badly. Like maybe you hadn’t seen some of these people in a while and hadn’t had a chance to do stuff with them, and yeah. You must have really needed it. It was kind of over quick in the scheme of things. The Division of Secret Societies watched most of the event closely. If you’ve recently received an invitation to a special meeting, that is why. I cannot say anymore at this time. We were not able to bring those of you who stayed home into the event this year by digital means or psychoactive substance, but we did provide you with some psychoactive substance to entertain yourselves at least.
The Celebration of the Moon was an interesting celebration to be sure. There weren’t too many rules, but we liked that it was mostly outside. We made everyone wear cloaks because that felt the best to us. We gathered under the moonlight. We read poetry about the moon. A few people cast spells. There was some sex, of course. All in all, not a bad way to spend a night.
Coming up, we would usually have The Celebration of Affirmation, but we don’t really feel like adapting it to the outdoors. We’ve opted for The Festival of Errors out of this list of anytime festivals. It should be interesting. Apparently everything will go wrong, and that’s if everything goes right. We also have the Big Black Hole Celebration. We’ll take a look at it and see what’s going on down there.
Kimmie has gotten really into mad science lately, like the whole thing, the dangerous scientific stuff and the plans to take over the world. Except she’s usually just trying to take over the building. This last time she had made an enormous bomb, and had left me a number of clues to work my way through to prevent the destruction of the building. It was a real bomb. I think it’s easy to think that maybe she would do something silly like this with a fake bomb or something just to get attention or whatever, but after I difused it using the clues she had left, we had it checked over and it was a real bomb. Apparently there were some failsafes and other safety measures, but it seems like it would have been easier to just make a fake bomb so that you wouldn’t need any of that. I don’t know. She really gets into the realism, I guess. At least the clues weren’t all that hard. I have to admit, it was fun.
The Division of Gleep Glorp has an exciting update. They write, “flaflaly yuperty, glin mabooey zonkto, eef eefalayley peep, tualui yeppers socky woop.” This is exciting news indeed.
Hell, our labor camp constructed haphazardly in the hollowed out section of the Earth we dug looking for the magical Hell, has been humming along smoothly. They’ve actually been humming a lot. Last time it was shanties, now it’s humming in time with their work. Meredith Gorgoro really has that entire camp under her thumb. Her enormous, monstrous thumb. It’s funny, you know. I almost get the impression that some of the people down there and even some of the monsters working under her, actually like it. Like, they like the work and the struggle and the humming. It’s as though her complete control gives them meaning. A person to look to for all answers. This isn’t actually ideal. Most of the work they’re doing down there is pointless. It adds to the misery. If they were expanding the cave section or building worthwhile structures for the future occupants of the cave systems, that would be one thing. But knowing that they are doing nothing worthwhile with all of their energy is extra punishing. No one is benefitting. It’s just meaningless work. But it seems as though some have almost started to find a spiritual satisfaction in the work, almost meditative in quality. Meredith helps them to shed their worries and self-centeredness and what they gain is… something. Honestly, we’ve had Meredith on a list for a long time. It’s a list of employees who might become too powerful. As it is, her realm of control is isolated in a cave system far away. That tends to be the end of the argument. But it’s difficult to say if she even still works for Kakos or if instead she is guided by some other mysterious purpose. Worst case scenario, we will just blow her up. We don’t need that cave for anything and the life forms in it will likely survive somehow.
The Division of Kaiju Battle Reenactment went back to a reenactment for their most recent battle. Really, you gotta start watching this stuff. It’s wild. This time they went with Electrome the Electric Dome vs. Big Fly. Electrome won in a fairly quick and decisive match. Big Fly landed and got zapped. The next match will be another hypothetical fight between Garybaldon and The Yosemite Lump. These are two lesser known monsters, and they may not even actually exist. But that is what makes the battles so exciting to watch. I’m looking forward to it.
The Division of Erotic Experiences has ben pretty quiet since their last update telling us that fish egg fertilization was the thing that is most sex. I sent them a message looking for an update. They did get back to me, but I was pretty frustrated to say the least. Now the thing that is most sex is “parallel parking”. Definitely. No doubt in their minds. I don’t like to micromanage my employees, but perhaps I will need to figure out what is going on with them.
The Division of Figuring Out What All of These Keys Go To has unlocked a video game using a cheat code. Apparently, they haven’t known what the cheat code went to for years. They tried just walking in the order of the directional button presses, but that didn’t work, and then they decided that it was probably video game instructions instead, so they tried every game they could find. It turned out to be an unreleased game called Co-Man 3. None of the Co-Man games were ever released. Not sure why they bothered with two or three if the first one never made it. Maybe they made them all at once or something. It’s a side-scrolling action game from 1986. Those used to be pretty easy to crank out if you had the right tools.
What’s that, Soundman? Yes, I know there’s a tape on the desk. It’s not from my grandfather. It’s from… some annoying group that think they’re so important. Alright, shareholders, there is a cassette tape on the desk here. It says “play me like one of your DarkMegaBrettanish girls.” The reverse side says “From the Illuminati.” That’s not a real thing. Anyone who believes in dark, shadowy organizations that control the world secretly behind the scenes are clearly out of their minds. What’s that, Soundman? Of course I know we do all of those things. But believing in the Illuminati? Sounds a little juvenile. Soundman, don’t tell me you believe this is a real thing. I might have to order you a mental health screening. Okay, okay, play the tape.
MEMO: Memo from The Internal Archives of The Illuminati. May. The Division of Brands has released a report confirming that candy has become far too delicious. Long believed to be true, this has been proven unequivocally by extensive social media data, millions of dollars in phone polling, and our new computer model that simulates taffy. It was believed we could use it to increase sales of salty snacks, thus driving consumption of heartburn pharmaceuticals, which in turn tracks talk radio consumption and sales of equipment for screenprinting American flags onto plastic. Mostly the model shows graphics of taffy being pulled and the words “mmm yummy.”
CORIN: That’s an insane business plan. Also we use conservative talk shows to boost awkward family conversations at major holidays. And, you know, general misery.
MEMO: Though there was internal criticism that “this was an insane business plan,” our research assures us that actually, it was very good.
CORIN: Hey. Soundman, this had better not be one of those sentient tapes we made by accident that one time.
MEMO: Continuing on. Candy. We wanted to make it too delicious and yummy to be able to resist, but apparently, quote, “it’s already just that good” end quote. After several weeks of research on this issue, our records have turned up an ancient non-compete clause regarding manipulation of food items following incidents in the Roman Empire regarding Sugar of Lead and its effects on the ruling class, requiring that we send notice of all quote “confectionary-based mayhems” end quote to a sinister and shadowy organization known as “Kakos Industries”. The name was slightly smudged, but assuming it’s accurate, then it literally means “evil corporation.” The Pen wishes to express, “They could have come up with a fun spin on it at least.”
CORIN: This is a business, not a clown show. The name is not meant to be “fun.” And who are these people with object names? That’s so convoluted. Soundman, remind me to check in on the Division of Clown Shows.
MEMO: The Pen went on to note “It’s not like how we have fun object names for our positions. That’s good.” After much debate, everyone agreed that object names are good, and that the only solution is to find ways to make candy less desirable
Here are the results of our ‘Word Cloud:’
Every 100th Twizzler is poison
Make Necco Wafers “sandier”
Rename Salt Water Taffy to “Ocean Creams”
Spread rumor that only white people like Nougat
Anatomically correct gummy bears
Chocolate Hanukkah Coins get even a little bit worse, somehow
Swap out all jelly beans for “Wine Gums”
Swap out all the Wine Gums for Licorice Allsorts
Swap out all the Licorice Allsorts for Salted Licorice Allsorts
Swap out all the Salted Licorice Allsorts for Salt
Open a salt mine (synergy potential: see second, attached memo)
Destabilize salt miner unions (second memo appendix R)
Make candy wrappers that “help” you unpack your trauma
Make the phrase ‘Ribbon Candy’ a sex thing
Bring back candy cigarettes, but now they’re flavored with Essential Oils
Giant lollipops become so large that only adults can afford or even lift them. Sailor suits become bigger and more costly.
A fizzy gum called ‘Fruit Pleasers”
Tell the eldery “fun size” is a gay thing
Make Candy Corn crunchy.
Change all yellow candy from lemon to “wild banana” flavor
Rename jawbreakers to “mouth ruiners”
And Every 75th Twizzler is poison
Thus ends our contractual non-compete missive. You are absolutely not to compete with these products by finding a way to make Necco Wafers taste good, or to engineer babies with grandpa tastebuds.
CORIN: There’s no way we’re shutting down our old babies program. Maybe they’ll be grandfathered in. This is ridiculous. Who even believes in the Illuminati? If you’re going to be a shadowy organization, at least come up with a more unique name.
Junior: Ah, yes, Corin. I just wanted to let you know that I did find something in the trees as father had mentioned on the recording during the announcements last time.
Corin: Oh, that’s exciting. What is it?
Junior: I’m not going to tell you. I just thought you’d like to know there was something in there.
Corin: Can I have a hint?
Junior: No. I’m sorry. That’s not how this works.
Corin: Is there anything else?
Junior: Ah, yes. There was one other thing I wanted to bring to your attention. (deep breath)
I’m sorry, shareholders. We all knew what he was going to do. And like I said before, I’m not doing that to you this time. We’ve hit a quota or something.
They say the Evil once started dealing drugs that made everyone feel great with no bad side effects, and then suddenly took them away, leaving everyone scrambling for something, anything, to make them feel nice again. This is Things We’re Taking Credit for Now. Today, we’re taking credit for electricity, the transistor, and social media influencers. Of course, we can’t know for certain that we did this things. They’re broad concepts, and some of them were invented a long time ago. But you will believe that we did them, or it might just be dangerous for your health. If you don’t believe us, you might just start driving.
Clover Patch has won today’s Ruin-A-Life Drawing. That means that Clover Patch’s nemesis is about to have a real bad time. Some might even say that it’ll ruin that nemesis’s life. That nemesis is Katie the Greatie. We’ll see if that title holds after this. We gave the Wheel of Misery a healthy spin and it landed on the space for “Unbalanced.” Soundman would like to tell you all about balanced versus unbalanced cables, but that’s not what we mean. From this day forward, Katie the Greatie will be 50% more unbalanced, causing trips, falls, spills, and any of the other consequences of going against gravity. For Evil measure, Clover Patch will be 13% more balanced, which might just make Clover Patch look a bit unnatural while moving. Congratulations on the win, and best of luck.
The Damnation and Ruination Squad, the people in charge of meting out these life-ruining changes, have been moving around the building, and I assume the outside world, just covered in flan. I incorrectly described it as vanilla pudding at a distance, and I was corrected. It’s flan. From head to toe. It’s a mess.
This brings us to the end of our broadcast, shareholders. You can uninstall the car stereo if you wish, but it will begin functioning as just a regular car stereo after this. I know it might be unusual to have a car stereo installed directly into your home’s hearth, but maybe you can explain it as some retro leftover from the previous owners. (pause) I know you’re still waiting for it. It’s not coming. I wouldn’t do that to you. I mean, maybe I would, but I really don’t want to this time. (pause) Stop expecting it. It’s not happening. Until next time, shareholders.
The numbers are next
Kakos Industries is written and produced by Conrad Miszuk, who is also the voice of Corin Deeth, and the composer of the music. The introductions are read by Ryan Jenkins, and the credits are read by Briauna Kittle, a sentient handful of magic beans. Special guest appearance in this episode by Dennis Bruno. This interruption was brought to you by True Tales of the Illuminati, an excellent audio drama you are now required to listen to. Find it at truetalesteam.com Please visit KakosIndustries.com for news, extras, and more episodes. There are also transcriptions on the website if you’d like to read along with the Kakos Industries announcements. That’s K-A-K-O-S-I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-E-S dot com. Please visit store.KakosIndustries.com for merchandise and special offers and get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription donor at kakosindustries.com/patreon. You can submit one time donations at paypal.me/kakosindustries. You can also purchase gear and other items for the production at kakosindustries.com/wishlist. Join our community at kakosindustries.com/discord. Questions, comments, or a strong desire to collaborate? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you like Kakos Industries, be sure to rate and review us on your favorite podcasting service, and connect with us on YouTube (YouTube.com/KakosIndustries), Facebook (facebook.com/kakosindustries), Tumblr (kakosindustries.tumblr.com), Instagram (@kakosindustries), tik tok @Kakosindustries, and Twitter (@KakosIndustries). We encourage fan art and listener participation on all our social media platforms.
Special thanks to our esteemed shareholders, Jack Attack, Dwight Spencer, and A. Rupert. Also thanks to honored employees Calico, who played the spoons, Rocket who strummed the jaw harp, Damien Scott-Viker, who plucked the washtub bass, and Anastasia K, who mumbled over the top. The Division of Beanies, Booties, and Construction Projects That Are Probably Too Large for Yarn, directed by Theo Cornet, has knit the hotel ice machine. Somehow it works. Insulation, we suppose. The Division of Obscure Vintage Technology, directed by Craig Czyz, has purchased an old pasta maker that is said to be haunted. Apparently it criticizes your technique the whole time. The Division of Subtle Efficiency Increases, directed by Danniel R Smith, has given certain employees roller skates. These employees previously moved really slowly, and now others can push them along. The Division of Saying It the Long Way, directed by Dino Schroeder, has been workshopping “uh uhh uh uhh uh uhh.” It could be shorter. The Division of Kakos Kafeteria Reviews, directed by Seth and Josh, has reviewed the Green Things Food Kiosk. “A wide variety of green, aquamarine, teal, and just slightly yellowish things to eat. Worth trying once 44/77”. The Division of Improbable Cookbooks, directed by Hayden Neff has been working on “Hide a Stick in It!” It’s pretty much what it says on the tin. The Division of Lesser Known Napping Locations, directed by Sass Master J, has found a nook created by two offices not lining up correctly. There’s no reason to walk in there, so no one really bothers you. The Division of Uneven Surfaces, Directed by The Doctor, has been hanging out around the dome on the dome lawn just shaking their heads. The Division of Hallway Wandering, directed by Jack, has been strolling down Hallway 344-9C. It has that corndog and mustard smell that is just so nostalgic. The Division of More Monday Mondays, directed by Odie, has discovered a way to make Mondays that much more Monday. It is two donuts down the hatch upon arrival, and the resulting fog and lethargy. The Division of Villainous Introspection, directed by Sarah, has been trying to figure out what the Evilest part of their bodies is. The calves have a surprising lead. The Division of New Card Game Mechanics, led by Finn, has developed a card that steals the Declaration of Independence. The Division of 4D Printing, directed by David Friedman, has developed a sculpture that is perfectly abstract and yet somehow undeniably sexual The philosophers are having a time. The Division of Applied Retro-Pungineering, directed by Pepijn Poolman, has partnered with the Division of Kaiju Battle Reenactment and someone named Boo to introduce a three cheese three way battle between Gorgonzilla, Motharella, and Briedorah. Quite the concept. The Division of Even Weirder bugs, directed by Franco El Terrible, has discovered a bug that can scream. It’s really damn intimidating. The Division of Fun Historical Hoaxes, Directed by Birdie. has uncovered the Ice Man of Lower Yorkville. Turns out he was just a regular guy and not a caveman. Really looked like a caveman though. The Division of Animal Stacking, directed by The One True Dave, stacked seven guinea pigs end to end. It took a lot of balancing and some well-trained guinea pigs. Our esteemed shareholders, honored employees, division heads, and other Patreon patrons are the best. If you want a thank you in the credits, your own division, or other great rewards that help to keep this show running, please head to Kakosindustries.com/patreon. That’s Patreon: p-a-t-r-e-o-n.
Kakos Industries can be dark.