Hello, Kakos Industries Shareholders! My name is Conrad Miszuk, and if you believe the cover story, then I am the creator of Kakos Industries. If you don’t, then I am obviously paid to keep you from catching wise to the real horrors of the world.

If you are a fan of the cult movie The Room, then you are in for a treat. In today’s Kakos Industries Announcements, you will hear from Philip Haldiman, who played Denny in The Room. It was awesome getting the chance to record with him and I am excited for all of you to get to hear the final product.

You may have noticed that we just narrowly missed our $400 patreon goal last month. It came down to the wire and our little engine just couldn’t. That being said, we are really close to making the goal this month. If you haven’t checked out our Patreon page yet, please head over to KakosIndustries.com/Patreon and think about throwing us a couple of bucks a month if you’re enjoying what you hear. There are awesome rewards, including leaked documents filled to the brim with Kakos Industries lore that you can’t get any other way. We can also write you into an episode. And if there’s something you want that we’re not offering, just let us know. We’ll probably do it. We’re weird like that. If you’re already a patron, then thank you, thank you, thank you. Your support means the world to us. Having that support means we can spend more time on the show, and, perhaps more importantly, fix things when they break, and occasionally eat.

If you can’t become a patron, then please consider sharing the show with the people you know. You might even find out that they’re just as dirty and weird as you are.

As always, you are the greatest supporters the creator of a darkly comedic, sex-positive satire could ever hope for. Thank you for listening, and now back to your regularly scheduled announcements.