Conrad: Hello, Kakos Industries shareholders. Conrad Miszuk, again. We’ve got just over two days left on the campaign, and I’m apparently stuck in some sort of spider web. I have no idea if there’s still a spider or what’s in store for me.
Felix: How will you get out of this one, Conrad?
Conrad: I fucking hate that guy.
Felix: But we’re having so much fun!
Conrad: You guys have to help me. I’ve gotten some more details on where the money has gone. The executive board invested heavily in PretzelCoin, a cryptocurrency that is backed by real world pretzels. Then they ate the pretzels. Some of them lost the pretzels. One of them accidentally erased their pretzels. And some of the other pretzels were stolen by intrepid hackers. Anyway, there’s no more pretzels and we have to cover their asses. We’re still really hoping to make that choose your own adventure game at $6,500, and we’re still offering each of you a place at the shareholders’ brawl if you’re willing to pledge $60 or more. We’ve even added a special fancier section to the brawl for those of you who pledge $100 or more. If we don’t succeed here, they might just let the spider eat me. KakosIndustries.com/Kickstarter
Felix: It’s not a spider, Conrad, it’s so much worse!
Conrad: KakosIndustries.com/Kickstarter.