Conrad: Hello, Kakos Industries shareholders. This is Conrad Miszuk, alleged creator of Kakos Industries. This time they’ve got me on some sort of ledge overlooking a black abyss. I am very afraid of heights. I think I ran out of whatever fear chemicals there are in my brain a little while ago, though, so that helps. We’re still working on the stretch goal for the Kakos Industries Twine Game. I was given a fresh breakdown of where that extra money went, and it looks like the executive board of Kakos Industries found it to be a good idea to send a burp to space. They put it in a bottle and fired it on a rocket. It’s very expensive to do that and they are still too cranky to pay for it. Remember that anyone who pledges $60 or more (regardless of where we end up) is going to get invited to the Shareholder’s Brawl. And we just opened up the special velvet rope section of the Shareholders’ Brawl featuring a longer mention at $100. And I’m going to make that choose your own adventure game if we can get to $6,500. We’ve only got until 12PM Mountain Standard Time on June 17th to get this done. That’s a little over four days from this posting. So if you haven’t pledged yet, please head over there. KakosIndustries.com/Kickstarter. You don’t want to miss out, okay? Please.
Felix: Conrad, are you convincing the shareholders?
Conrad: I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Felix: Okay. Just remember, you can’t come back up away from that ledge until you’ve convinced them!
Conrad: Fuck. KakosIndustries.com/Kickstarter