Hello, Kakos Industries Shareholders! My name is Conrad Miszuk, and if you believe the cover story, then I am the creator of Kakos Industries. If you don’t believe the cover story, then I am a humble employee of Kakos Industries charged with taking the blame for everything that goes wrong.

I am recording this today to ask you for your help. I have recently moved to Los Angeles and my expenses as a human being have increased substantially. As it stands right now, every cent of what I make from Patreon will be going directly toward my survival in this sprawling southern California metropolis. If you haven’t checked out our Patreon yet, and you want episodes about how hungry Corin is to be kept to a minimum, then please head over to kakosindustries.com/patreon and pledge today. It’s important for me to tell you that all pledges, regardless of size, are deeply appreciated. If you’re already a patron, then thank you. You are my heros.

Speaking of Patreon, we finally broke our $400 goal for the second time! This is excellent news and as a reward to all of you, the fourth #FanFucktion video is now available on our YouTube Channel, youtube.com/kakosindustries. We are committed to reading more of these as we hit milestones on Patreon, so keep supporting us on Patreon, and also send us your dirty words by going to kakosindustries.com/fanfucktion. That’s f-a-n-f-u-c-k-t-i-o-n

It can be kind of quiet producing content that is consumed over the Internet, as you might imagine. If you like what you’ve been hearing, but maybe it’s just not in your budget to help us out on Patreon, please consider sending us a message on whatever platform you prefer. Send us an email. Tag us in a post. Play along with the various social media personas that represent Kakos Industries. We’re on Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook, and you can always reach us at inquiries@kakosindustries.com. We’re trying to come up with some fun ways to play with each community differently, so you might want to check them all out.

As always, you are the best fans anyone could ever hope for. You are my favorite people, and I am thankful that you are listening. Now back to your regularly scheduled announcements.